I’ll start my story here and we can take time to look back at the beginning of my life later.

I met my Wonderful husband Jonathan just a few years ago, at church. It was his first day as a worship director. I was introduced to him by the Pastor (My Father), I knew the moment we shook hands that he was the man I was to spend the rest of my life with.

I had previously had an argument with God about the boy I was currently dating. I say boy because he was not very mature. I needed that fire in my bones kind of love and I had been in a relationship with him for over three years and didn’t feel loved by him. I was at that point in my life where I was ready to get married and have children and I needed someone who would cheer me on and support me in all the school years ahead of me. He wasn’t ready for that.

Anywho, J and I both knew we were meant for each other. I dumped my ex in November and Stated dating J. It was a whirlwind romance and we got married the following July. We will be married 2 years this year.

Being a wife is so different that I ever would have expected it to be. I find myself doing and thinking things that I would never have thought or done before marriage. I no longer think about just myself. I think about how my husband would like something or what he would think about the dress I tried on the other day. I think about how he feels when I say things in a harsh tone, granted it’s after the fact I’ve said something harshly. My point is, we as humans are constantly changing and that’s a good thing when you’re a wife.

Wifely “duties” were never explained to me as a child or young adult. I learned them from my exes mother and on my own as I got older. Forget about the sexual part that most people expect to be explained, let’s talk about the every day things that I was never told

1.Prayer

I was never told that as a Christian woman, you should pray for your husband daily. Pray for his health, his mind, his career, pray for his relationship with you but most importantly pray for his relationship with God. We fell on hard times right before our daughter was born and 6 weeks after she was born and I was so angry with God that for a little while I forgot to pray. Not for my husband but just pray in general.

Once I started praying again and praying for his relationship with God, thinks started looking up for us. Some will say it’s just fate or coincidence but I don’t believe that.

2.Encouragement

My family wasn’t really big on encouraging each other. My dad would tell me all the time that he was proud of me but not once did he sit down with me and tell me that I could win the soccer game or that I would grow up to be a brilliant person till after I was a young adult. It wasn’t modeled in my parents relationship openly around us kids so I didn’t know how to encourage my husband until I met his mother and we talked about it.

Simple ways to encourage your man are to tell him you are proud of him, that he is doing a great job at….. then you fill in the blank. My husband stood up for himself and promoted himself at his job recently. He saw an opportunity at work, talked to his boss about it, they told him to start as soon as he could. He got a paid day off and started on day shift, got a pay raise, and he is closer to the house now.

I let him know how proud I was of him for doing that and that he should do it more often.

Tell him how much he means to you and your family, even if it’s just the two of you.

3.Honesty

Honesty is one of the things that is a given. If you can’t be honest with you’re partner, you’re relationship isn’t going to last.

You have to be honest and upfront with your partner from the beginning of the relationship. You might be scared of what your partner will think or say about it, but you have, to be honest.

I am brutally honest with my husband and he loves it and hates it. I won’t lie about something that I think is important. granted honesty can hurt but it needs to be there. Don’t hide things from your partner. That will only make things worse. If you’re afraid to tell your partner something, take a deep breath and just do it.

4.Thank your Partner

Let your partner know that you are thankful for them. It can be as simple as I am thankful I found you, I am thankful that you are in my life, I am thankful to wake up next to you everyday. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like the way that your partner sleeps or snores. maybe they chew their food too loudly, I know my husband does, you know what, he can’t help it. I am still thankful that he had taken the time to get to know me and didn’t just me for what I looked like or for that fact that I liked him and was in a relationship with someone else. I never cheated, I just couldn’t take being a parent to my Boyfriend at the time. I was ready to settle down and he wanted to party all the time. I am thankful for the advise my husband gave to me, to try and fix the relationship I was in before giving up on it.

I tell him every day that I am thankful for him, or at least I try to tell him. It doesn’t happen first thing in the morning but I sure try to say it right before we fall asleep.

Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change a thing about my married life up to this point. We have both grown and learned from each other. He has taught me to let go of my anger and resentment towards other people. I am not really sure what I have taught him but he tells me that I have taught him to love himself and to grow.

I know that we will continue to learn and grow from each other because we lean on each other when we need to, that’s what being Partners is all about.